Over the last 13. years of marriage there are many things that I have learned. I have learned that I should not comment to my wife about my mom cooking something a different way. I have learned that my wife, Melissa, is not a morning person and that when I jump out of bed on Saturday ready to tackle the day, if I want it to be a good day, I leave her alone and have some me time (which I have come to enjoy). I have learned that my wife is a compassionate woman who had a heart of gold but don’t you dare mess with her husband or her children, that bear wakes up really quick!
I have learned many things, but there is still one of many things that I am working to learn and that is how to prioritize everything in my life. I am a worker. I enjoy work and I feel accomplished when I check everything off of my list even if that means not seeing my kids and wife much if any. I have struggled to say no to others all the while telling my kids no, time and time again.
You see men, the priorities of our lives will dictate the importance of those things in our life. If sports are your thing and you neglect to bring your family into the mix, your priority is wrong. When your priority is work over intimacy with your wife and supper with your kids, your priorities are wrong.
I know, Pastor Kurtis you just don’t understand my situation. Believe me, I do, all too well. I have been in your shoes and I have chosen the lesser of the two things placed in front of me, but I am learning. How do you fix it though?
I have chosen to take the opportunity to bring my kids and wife into what I love and enjoy doing. I am a pastor and that means funerals and weddings and hospital visits, and my kids and my wife are involved in all of it.
When I first entered into the ministry I was warned to protect my kids from the church. I believe that is the worst thing a pastor or a dad can do. Your kids need to know the church, warts and all. Bring them along. Talk with them about the struggles you are working through. Help them to see why you are stressed when you come home from work.
Not every man who reads this is a pastor, I get that. If you are a dad though you have been tasked with leading your kids and your wife, you are their pastor, their shepherd. Choose to lead them well. Bring them along with you and be honest with your family. Life will be much better if you do.
Men, I am praying for you as you lead well.